Such capture, is my own

Some things are better left unsaid;

just as some thoughts are better left for dead.

This captor of mine,

seems to be of thine own creation.

I know not of its title therein,

nor that of whom or what you speak.

Should you dine with wolves,

I shall dine amongst the swine of

society.

In this life

it tends to be

all

or nothing.

I’m not so sure,

I only want

All…

Or nothing…

What if I thought,

With my own mind creating my own thoughts,

That I wanted something different?

Life is never

Just this or

just that.

Its always a choice;

a choice between

two evils.

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Or something like that.

Sometimes…

Just sometimes; I crave the company of other humans.

And other times, I hate people so much that I don’t even want to be a part of social networks or even think about other humans.

There have been times when I craved the company of another person so much I came off as a creeper and kinda got a little depressed.

There was this one time that I actually enjoyed the company of others so much that no one noticed that I was exhausted and unhealthy.

And this other moment I was so glad to have someone around me that it didn’t matter that we were arguing and fussing with each other. We were friends. They said to me, “I’m your friend, Your best friend and I wouldn’t have this any other way. Except maybe taking your phone away from you.” (That was paraphrased)

I have held two jobs that made me come in contact with people constantly. The people were my job, basically. A hostess and a gas station attendant. You come in contact with hundreds of people a day. I loved making people smile and talk with me. Sometimes my more frequent customers would know when something was bothering me and make it a point to make me smile.

 

Early on in my relationship, we would always talk to each other. Constant smiles and conversation. I guess life intervened.

I moved in and it seems like everything went downhill from there.We were good until I left my job. Then we were good while he had a job in a place that utilized his skills. Then we were bad again and now he has another job and I hope to God that it gets better soon.

Usually springtime and summertime are good to me. This year I don’t know what this time of year has in store for me. March through May have always been a slow time for me and mine and I cant wait for the summer season to get here. Warmer weather, always something to do and somewhere to go. Art and craft shows, photo shoots, modeling sessions, and much much more but not a minute before June shows itself. Add to that I had to cancel the only contract I had out.

I’m feeling restless as this year creeps by so slowly.

I have full blown cabin fever and I’m ashamed to admit it. I should be just fine not having to deal with people on a daily basis but I am so bored.

I’m even considering going back to college. Sad but true. Seems like that may be the best thing for me to do. It keeps me busy and I get my education.

This must be confessions week or something because I don’t even feel better after all this free-writing.

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the Semicolon Project

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Semicolon-Project/659615364052145

Look into it, it could help.

You are never alone.

Draw your semicolon today and keep writing your story; it isn’t over yet.

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February-March 2014

A short update from December-January:

Mommy was in the hospital. It wasn’t good. She had a blood clot in her upper left thigh.

She was put on blood thinners for it. More bad news; the nerves on the top of her hip, in her lower back, and throughout her leg were severely affected by it. Good news: the last ultrasound of her veins showed that the clot is, in fact, GONE.

Good news: no blood clot. Bad news: Now we have to prove that it was there to begin with so the insurance will approve of her recommended regimen of being on the thinners the rest of the prescribed time. Ergo; hospitals suck.

February: I no longer work at the local fuel station as my mother’s health problems and my handling of the entire situation could have been better. I submitted my two weeks notice but remain in close contact with those that are still working there.

My mother and I visited my brother and his soon to be wife. We also helped plan and execute the wedding of my brother’s roommates (Ally and Bryon). It went off without a hitch, so to speak. It was beautiful and they were exceptionally grateful.

March: So far… I’ve been recruited for another year of softball pictures… Two girls instead of just one this year. Yay!!!

I’m also possibly going to be assisting/visiting with my sister and her family during events that she attends as a merchant with her jams and jellies.

I am excited. I’m also terrified. Yeesh. Never a good combination.

Today: I’m updating this blog, hanging out with my cat (Cali), and converting some photos from color to black and white.

Productive day on the computer.

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Black and White Snapshots from the Robbins Wedding 3-1-14

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Spring, Sprang, Sprung?

Spring has sprung…
There’s a leak in my nose.
It’s currently 50 degrees outside.
When it was in the 80s a few days ago.

Spring.
You and I have a love/hate relationship going on.
You create warm weather,
loads of pretty flowers,
and make my cats do cute things outside.

Currently,
you are giving me sinusitis,
arthritic tendencies,
and have turned me into a blanket thief.

Please make up your mind.
Warm.
Cold.
Not this in between junk.

Sincerely,

My Toilet-paper-sore-nose and watery eyes.

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Under the title of things left unsaid…

In the topic things not said,

I have not abandoned those unread.

I have merely been absent as of late.

Several things have been known to happen,

and thus forth I shall spread the tales of thine tread.

 

I foisted my presence unto that of my brother and his wife-to-be,

as well as Ally and Mr. King Cookie.

Wherein I supposed, I photographed the joining

Of Allison and Bryon Robbins, indeed.

A beautiful affair, without any doubt;

A stage full of love, fear, and nostalgic thoughts.

As she appeared a hush came about,

Love at first sight, that’s what we were all about.

With a wink and a flash, it was all over and done.

We sent the delighted couple

To take a chance and swoon;

To dance and shimmy,

Off to the moon.

Many blessing to behold, 

As a Mother’s love is true to be told,

A Madelynn Rose, you will soon hold,

Near and dear to us all,

Your one true sweetheart,

Your second true love.

 

Many blessings and much love, this I hold to you

Madelynn Rose Robbins, Allison Robbins, and Bryon Robbins

Will soon a family make;

As family and friends draw near and dear.

Let there be many Uncles and Aunts

Let us do make!

 

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