Just sometimes; I crave the company of other humans.
And other times, I hate people so much that I don’t even want to be a part of social networks or even think about other humans.
There have been times when I craved the company of another person so much I came off as a creeper and kinda got a little depressed.
There was this one time that I actually enjoyed the company of others so much that no one noticed that I was exhausted and unhealthy.
And this other moment I was so glad to have someone around me that it didn’t matter that we were arguing and fussing with each other. We were friends. They said to me, “I’m your friend, Your best friend and I wouldn’t have this any other way. Except maybe taking your phone away from you.” (That was paraphrased)
I have held two jobs that made me come in contact with people constantly. The people were my job, basically. A hostess and a gas station attendant. You come in contact with hundreds of people a day. I loved making people smile and talk with me. Sometimes my more frequent customers would know when something was bothering me and make it a point to make me smile.
Early on in my relationship, we would always talk to each other. Constant smiles and conversation. I guess life intervened.
I moved in and it seems like everything went downhill from there.We were good until I left my job. Then we were good while he had a job in a place that utilized his skills. Then we were bad again and now he has another job and I hope to God that it gets better soon.
Usually springtime and summertime are good to me. This year I don’t know what this time of year has in store for me. March through May have always been a slow time for me and mine and I cant wait for the summer season to get here. Warmer weather, always something to do and somewhere to go. Art and craft shows, photo shoots, modeling sessions, and much much more but not a minute before June shows itself. Add to that I had to cancel the only contract I had out.
I’m feeling restless as this year creeps by so slowly.
I have full blown cabin fever and I’m ashamed to admit it. I should be just fine not having to deal with people on a daily basis but I am so bored.
I’m even considering going back to college. Sad but true. Seems like that may be the best thing for me to do. It keeps me busy and I get my education.
This must be confessions week or something because I don’t even feel better after all this free-writing.